I’m not looking for pity or understandinghere. I know I’m not getting it. Me andmy ex-wife have a 14 month old son.After he was born our marriage fell apart.She said I wasn’t pulling my weight withchildcare and chores but at the same timeshe expected me to know what to dowithout her telling me. It was bad. Weargued a lot and I ended up telling herthat her life would be harder without me.
She got really quiet and I thought that was the end of the argument. It made things fall apart and we are getting divorced. We’re living separately, each got a new apartment. As for our son the law in our state [Kentucky] is that 50/50 is the default for custody. It is automatic unless one parent proves neglect on the part of the other. We don’t have that so on the advice of both our lawyers we are splitting time and doing alternating weekssince we separated. We usually switch on Mondays with the daycare pickup and drop off.
I knew being a single parent wasn’t easy but I didn’t really know until now. This is |where I realize how badly I f**ked up because I’m drowning. The weeks I have my son I don’t get anything done and I can barely even function at work because I’m so exhausted. I spend the whole week I don’t have him catching up and I can’t even get everything done. My apartment is a mess and I can hardly keep up with errands and chores.
It sucks. I realize I f**ked up because Ithought since I was having a hard timemy wife would be too and we could calloff the divorce and work on things. Butshe doesn’t want to. She says her life iseasier without me and she is theopposite of me and can apparently keepup everything fine. She says she isn’texhausted anymore and realized it’seasier having one person to take careof instead of 2.
I know I messed up and should havebeen a better husband. I can’t even askfor less time with my son because I can’tafford the child support. Right nowneither of us has any because of 50/50and equal income but if we go off 50/50my lawyer says the person with less timewill get child support. I hate myself forf**king up so much. Obviously this is athrowaway. Wtf did I do?
