Living nine months in Dubai with endless video calls and tons of ultrasound pics, I was finally back home to hold my sweet Jenna.
I kissed her, inhaling the familiar smell of her coconut shampoo, letting myself relax into the warmth of my home.
“I missed you both so much. The place in Dubai was just a spot to sleep but being here with you two… this is home.”
“We missed you too,” Ruby replied.
“It was tough going through this without you.”
Max, our German Shepherd mix, sat quietly at my feet on the nursery floor. He hadn’t left me since I walked through the door six hours ago, except to check on the baby whenever she made even a tiny sound.
“He’s already the best big brother,” Ruby said while scratching behind his ears. “Aren’t you, boy? He sleeps right here every night keeping watch.”
“Just like he used to do with my shoes,” I laughed, remembering how he’d guard my work boots before I left. “Remember that buddy?”
I cherished those little moments I’d missed with Jenna: her first smile, how she scrunched her nose before crying and gripped Ruby’s finger while nursing. Everything felt perfect. Too perfect.
The first incident happened during a 3 a.m. feeding.
I got up to warm a bottle when I heard Ruby’s soft voice from the living room. The dim yellow light from her phone screen cast shadows across her face making her look older and tired.
“I can’t keep doing this,” she said nervously twisting her hair with one hand. “He’s home now and—” She stopped suddenly when she saw me ending the call quickly saying “Mom, I’ve got to go.”
But it wasn’t really Mom.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Just Mom being Mom,” she replied but didn’t seem happy at all.
“You know how she worries especially with everything going on.”
I wanted to ask why these talks were happening at 3 a.m., but then Jenna cried breaking the tension.
Ruby rushed off to the nursery leaving me standing there holding an empty bottle feeling uneasy inside. She started spending hours just staring at Jenna’s crib then came that bank statement.
“Fifteen thousand dollars Ruby?”
“What baby stuff costs thirty grand? The nursery is already full.”
“We needed — I needed to be ready,” she answered back defensively.
“You were gone so long and… well… I panicked some! First-time mom stuff right?”
“Panicked? Ruby this is way too much of our savings! And these receipts…” My stomach twisted as I looked through them. “Baby clothes in size 2T? She won’t wear these for another year!”
Max had started camping out in the nursery whenever Ruby sat there.
“He’s just being protective,” Ruby insisted though her voice shook slightly “Dogs get weird sometimes around new babies; it says so online.”
But this wasn’t normal; Max was trying to tell us something—I could feel it.
One night after waiting until Ruby fell asleep went into the nursery where Max rushed ahead as we neared Jenna’s crib.The moonlight coming through made strange shadows across everything feeling unreal somehow.
“What is it boy?”
“What are you trying tell me?”
My daughter was three months old now; I’d been back for two weeks—there’s no way…
“John?”
Ruby’s voice behind me sent chills down my spine.I turned slowly clutching that test like hot coal.
“When?” It was all that came out though many other questions screamed inside me.