If this tale doesn’t make you laugh until you cry, just tell me and I’ll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been joyfully married for many years. The only trouble in their marriage was the husband’s loud farting every morning when he woke up. The noise would wake his wife, and the smell would make her eyes water and gasp for breath.
Every morning she begged him to stop letting them out because it was making her feel sick. He told her he couldn’t help it and that it was totally natural. She suggested he see a doctor because she worried that one day he might blow his insides out.
Years passed, and he kept on farting away. Then one Christmas morning, while she was getting the turkey ready for dinner and he was still asleep upstairs, an evil idea popped into her head as she looked at the turkey’s insides: neck, gizzard, liver, and all those extra parts! She took the bowl of guts upstairs where her husband lay sleeping soundly. Gently pulling back the covers, she lifted his waistband of his underwear and dumped all those turkey guts inside!
A little later, she heard him wake up with his usual loud trumpeting followed by a terrifying scream as he dashed into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly hold back her laughter as she rolled on the floor with tears in her eyes! After years of suffering through this torture from him, she thought this revenge was pretty good! About twenty minutes later, her husband came down wearing blood-stained underwear looking horrified.
She bit down on her lip as she asked what happened to him. He replied “Honey you were right… all these years I didn’t listen to your warnings.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife curiously. “Well,” said him “you always said one day I’d end up farting my guts out; today it finally happened but thanks to some Vaseline & two fingers I think I got most of them back in…”
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