Blending families with stepchildren can create special challenges that really test patience, love, and personal space. For one man, the stress became so overwhelming that he felt he had no choice but to take extreme action. Here’s his story.
My wife died in November 2022. She left me with three adult stepchildren who have made it clear I am not their dad even though I’ve been in their lives for over ten years. Their father has moved to the Philippines.
They are 21, 22, and 25 years old. Their mother and I helped them find a place to stay because living costs in our city are super high.
The youngest is still studying while the other two have jobs. After their mom passed away, they stopped helping out at home completely. We didn’t charge them rent so they could save money; the older two were responsible for paying their own bills besides rent. I covered power, water, Internet and all utilities while we even provided food for the youngest.
Now they do nothing around the house! I had to hire a cleaning lady which is just ridiculous! So I decided to sell my house since its value increased a lot since I bought it; if I wanted to retire in the Philippines that could be an option too!
It sold quickly and now I’m moving into my cabin.
I gave each kid $10k and told them about selling the house. They aren’t dumb; they saw the “for sale” sign and came by during open houses! Now they’re mad at me for kicking them out of their home! Sure they grew up there but treated it like just a place to sleep most of time.I think their mom would be ashamed of how they’ve treated me & our home!
They pooled together some cash & got an apartment but if they rely only on what I gave them they’ll run out of money fast! People supported him saying things like:
“Raise your hand if your parents gave you $10k when you moved out? No hands? You separated from leeches.” “They disrespected you & your home; you weren’t required to keep supporting them after becoming adults.” “You waited nearly two years for them to start acting responsible but they didn’t care enough.”
“You also didn’t need give them money either but did anyway – you’ve done plenty considering they’re adults now!”
“It seems like if they’d helped around more maybe you’d want stay instead of selling.”
“Your wife would be disgusted by how her kids acted as guests in your home.”
“I sold my house because of a lazy brother who was freeloading off me at age 59 yet my siblings blamed me for making him homeless when none would take him in!”
“These people are grown-ups who’ve made it clear you’re not their father meaning you can’t tell em what do.”
“They lived rent-free without doing chores expecting you handle everything or pay someone else too! But since you’re not actually their dad anymore –you owe em nothing!”
“You were kind letting live there over year plus giving cash help start fresh life now it’s time face reality about finances or risk being homeless!”
Blended families come with unique challenges; while many manage these issues well others find separation is only way towards happiness.
